Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!
Q: Why doesn’t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !
How would an angrez tell an indian naukar who can’t understand english to open the door?
He will certainly say: “There was a cold day”
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: About 25 to 30 pounds.
Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: About 25 to 30 minutes.
Troubled youth: Father I have committed many sins recently.
I am addicted to read dirty sms on my mobile phone! Please help me.
Father: Don’t worry my son! Forward ur all sins to my mobile and relax!
Twinkle twinkle little star,
I just went to royal bar,
Whisky rates are up so high,
So drink beer with chicken fry.
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go on our anniversary?”
She said, “Somewhere I have never been!”
I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
Examiner : Why you wrote the formula in your hand.
Student : Because my teacher told, “Formulas must be in finger tips”.
Beggar: Sir plz give me rs. 6 For coffee.
Man: Coffee? Its rs. 3 only.
Beggar: 1 for my girlfriend!
Man: Wow! you too made a girlfriend?
Beggar: No sir, girlfriend made me a begger.
– There is a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
– It’s called marriage.
Man receives telegram:
Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
If U need ADVICE,
MSG ME.
If U need a FRIEND,
CALL ME.
If U need HELP,
E-MAIL ME.
If U need MONEY,
The number U dialed is not in service,
Plz don’t try again.
I Miss you a Lot Dear….
SENDER:
Aishwarya Rai
+919542496632
Message centre:
+919540099996
” Don’t get excited. She sent It to me.”
When things go wrong,
When sadness fills your heart,
When tears flow in your eyes,
Always remember 3 things:
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.